His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
