dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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