don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
