I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
