You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
