Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
