You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
