i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
