Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
high people should be assigned attendants
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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