the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
