I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
farters have to be the big spoon...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
