Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
where are you?
Hypothermia
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
