Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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