I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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