Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
