i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
