It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
