I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
time to smoke my breakfast
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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