? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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