Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
