Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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