It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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