She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He has the fingertips of a God
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
