i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
