3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize