he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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