Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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