guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
