And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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