So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
