first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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