He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
