so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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