I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize