I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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