Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
