nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
