he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
