What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize