actually, I'm a sock model
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
