you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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