I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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