well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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