when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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