I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
