This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
