How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just want to make out with him forever
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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