nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
