I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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