What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
