im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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