I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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