Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
