so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
