Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
