So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
