one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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