Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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