his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
