It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
