Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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