i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
