My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just took my morning after pill in the library
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
